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Tips on working with At-Risk Youth

The following are tips regarding working with high-risk and at-risk youth:

• Don't make assumptions on who will do well by his or her initial application. Some of these kids have had a horrendous education, therefore, they have poor spelling and grammar skills, yet they're really bright.
  
  
• Do not judge a child's intelligence based on their verbal communication. Sometimes a child has been taught to just shut up, but if you make an effort to call on them ("Bryan, who is the protagonist in this story?"), they'll surprise you with how much they've absorbed.
  
  
• They are going to talk about a lot of things that might be out of the realm of your experience. Sometimes it's made up, just to shock you and to see if you'll still stick around no matter how "bad" they are. Sometimes what they tell you is the truth. Either way, it's their truth. Don't judge, just listen. It's a real temptation to preach, to say "You shouldn't do drugs," "You shouldn't hang out with gangs," "You shouldn't have sex." Don't. They've heard it. Remember what it felt like when your parents preached to you and how little impact it had. Better responses are "That must be so hard for you," "What is that like?," "Why do you do that?," "How does that feel?" The idea that someone cares what they think is new to them and gives them the feeling of being worthwhile, which is the whole point. So the most important thing you can do is LISTEN.
  
  
• When teaching, go in small steps, smaller than you think is necessary. That way they will always have the answer and will have the experience of succeeding. Then, when they get it right, praise them highly. "You guys are so smart!" or "Lavell, you did it again." Don't ever make any answer wrong. "That's a good way of looking at it. Can anyone else think of another way?" is better. Remember, this isn't really about the actual artistic lesson so much as building self-esteem. Better to have a line in the script that's not so good, a singer who's off-key or a painting that's pretty bad and a child who feels like he is finally doing well at something.
  
  
• They may look like young adults, but they aren't. Although these kids have gone through many adult-type experiences, they usually missed out on the childhood ones. Inside, they are like little kids. They want praise, consistancy, hugs, snacks (if allowed by the facility).
  
  
• These youth really like (and need) structure. Structure and rules make them feel safe and cared about. They usually grew up with none. You don't have to be strict, but be consistant with the rules and do not play favorites.
  
• If someone's acting up, you can say something like, "I know it's fun to fool around, but you all are doing such a great job. I want everyone to stay in the class, but if anyone starts acting up, I'm going to have to send you out. It's not that I want you to leave (important), but it's not fair to the other kids who are trying to get something done. So it's your choice (also important)." Then, if it happens again, do it in a nice and caring way. Say that you hope that he or she can come back the next week and be able to concentrate on the project. Surprisingly, they love the idea that you have expectations of them.
  
  
• Be flexible. Many of these youth have deep psychological problems. When they are focusing, or if you send someone out and they come back and are doing better, praise them for it. "You are doing such a good job this week!"
  
  
• It's great to have high expectations of them, but sometimes this can feel like pressure. Adults often ask kids, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Or they say, "You would make a great lawyer."." Some kids might express, "I'm just sixteen and I have to make all these decisions. I have to know what I want to be already. Everyone keeps talking about it." I realized then that it's better to say that they have lots of time to decide what they want to do, and the main thing is that they can be anything they want. Instead say, "I have faith in you."
  
  
• Try to get them to read. It's not even important what it is. Lend or buy them books on subjects they're interested in. Create Now! has a library of books available. Better to read about basketball or a Jackie Collins novel than nothing. One mentor told us about a girl who had mentioned a book she'd seen somewhere. After the mentor got it for her, the girl told her, "I wasn't going to read this. I'm not really into reading. But now I can't put it down. Jackie Collins makes me think about how only you really know what it's like to go through the things that have happened to you, but if you write about it with a lot of details, maybe that will make someone else understand. I'd like to write about my life one day." If a love of reading is all she gets out of the class, that's enough.
  
  
• Print up a form for the kids to fill in with their birthdays, favorite colors, foods and music. This reminds you to bring them cards or little gifts on their birthdays. Sometimes you will be the only one who remembers that day.
  
  
• Don't bring up their homes; some of them don't have one. Some have both parents in jail or parents that have disowned them or who are dead. This is incredibly painful for them. Let them bring it up if they want to talk about it.
  
  
• In some facilities, kids get sent to "the halls" (Juvenile Hall) if they act up. This can happen between one class and the next, and probably you won't know about it until you show up and the child is gone. You may have formed a bond and then suddenly will never see them again. You can get home phone numbers in advance if you want to keep in contact (but remember that if you say you're going to, this is a promise to them and you'd better do it). Be prepared emotionally for the fact that they can be taken away at any time and you may not even get to say good-bye.
  
  
• Get their phone numbers and give them the Create Now! voice-mail number and address. Do not give them your home numbers or address as they might turn up on your doorstep. If they want to contact you, give them your email address or cell phone number. And ask them to specify their name when they leave a message or send a letter, and to make sure they leave information about how you can reach them instead.
  
  
• We cannot stress enough how important consistency is to these kids. They can not believe that someone cares for them and will be there for them. If you say you will be there Mondays at 3:00, be there Mondays at 3:00. If you're a minute late, they think you're not coming. They believe that when something good happens, something bad happens right after. This has been their experience. Don't reinforce it.
  
  
• Make sure to come the same time and day each week. They think about it all week. So it's better to pick a time you can consistently be there and not change it unless you really, really have to. "Monday at 3:00 is our time." If for some reason, you have to change your time, don't just assume because you told someone on staff that the kids will get the message. Tell more than one person. Try to find someone at the facility who you can count on to get messages to them. Often this is a secretary or aide or floor supervisor. The kids themselves may be able to tell you who you can trust with this.
  
  
• Sometimes you will get a sense in the class that the kids can't focus because of something important on their minds. That's okay. It's good now and then to just use a class to listen to what's going on with them. You will be able to tell the difference between them just wanting to goof off and there really being a need to talk.
  
  
• An individual child may seem especially sad or like something is bothering him or her, yet not want to talk about it in the group. Take them aside and say that you can see that they have something on their mind, and ask if they'd like to stay after class a few minutes to talk. If they say no, say that you are there when they want to talk and to just let you know.
  
  
• Try to let them do as much as possible. Whether it's passing out the paper and supplies, handing out napkins, writing on the board, even cleaning up after, they really like doing this. They are in a facility where everything is done for them. They like the autonomy and feeling of accomplishment of doing things for themselves. It is especially good for the shy ones to have a "job." "Raymond, will you put out the paper plates again? You did that so well last time." "Good job, Michelle. You have excellent handwriting." What we think of as chores, they think of as feeling important and needed.
  
  
• The last thing you say every week, after you tell them what a good job they did, should be a reinforcement of when you'll return. "You guys did great this week. You came up with some really funny stuff. Okay, I'll see you next Monday at 3:00."
  
  
• Whenever you can, find a way to tell them you were thinking about them during the week. "Lucy, I saw this article about fashion design in a magazine and thought you might be interested in it."
  
  
• Make a big effort to keep things equal. Praise, articles, books, snacks, attention, need to be given the same to everyone. Remember, most of them grew up in a family where there wasn't enough (especially emotionally). The things you bring are symbols of caring. If you see a kid hoarding something (for example, taking half the cookies), realize that it doesn't mean they're "selfish." It means that they're afraid that they might not get anything again. "There's enough for everyone," and "I'll bring more next week," are good messages applying to material things as well as attention. They'll relax once they see you mean it.
  
  
• It will take a long time for them to trust you. They have been disappointed a lot. Even when they do trust you, they will keep testing you. Tell them, "I'm not going anywhere." And mean it.
  
  
• These kids will remember you forever. That is a huge responsibility; do not take it lightly. Make their experience with you different than what's gone before. Make it something valuable to remember.
  
  
• When you get discouraged, rent "Stand and Deliver," or "Freedom Writers." They are really inspiring and you can also get some good ideas from them.